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Although death is one of the
things that are certain in life, most if
not all people still find it difficult to
deal with it when placed in this
situation. Grieving for the death of a
loved one is a long process that takes
time and acceptance. However, with the
help and concern of other people, this
process is made a little easier for the
people who are in grief.
During funerals, many people are careful
about the words they say or actions they
do in front of the grieving family
members. Generally, the attendees do not
want to give additional grief to those
affected, hence the tendency is to keep
quiet and simply extend their support
silently. People who attend funerals must
be aware of the proper etiquettes to be
observed during this time and observe the
do’s and don’ts.
The most common and sincere way of
extending your sympathy is to say “I am
sorry” to the bereaved for his loss.
These three words are enough to convey to
the grieving person that you understand
the importance of the deceased person in
his life and that you share his sadness.
These words are enough to show that you
sincerely care for the bereaved.
More than talking, listening is very
important during funerals. Studies show
that people who have suffered losses
accept their situation quickly with the
help of other people who are willing to
listen and help them deal with their
grief. During this period, the bereaved
needs to express his sadness and anger
together with the memories of the deceased
person. The need to talk is an outlet of
letting out all of their feelings about
the situation. A person does a lot of help
simply by listening. It is best not to
push the bereaved to talk about his lost
loved one rather this should be a
spontaneous thing. You should refer to the
deceased person by name, using no other
terms. Memories are bound to come up
during your conversation with the
aggrieved, and no matter how repetitive it
might become, just try to be patient in
listening.
Nonverbal actions are equally important
during funerals. A gentle, sincere hug or
a shoulder to cry on is what a bereaved
person needs to feel to know that he is
not alone in his grief. Death brings out
the vulnerability of every person hence
the simplest touch could be a source of
strength for the grieving people.
Grieving is normal as it forms part of our
complex emotions as human beings. Grief is
not something we can simply set aside.
During funerals, it is suggested that you
ask the bereaved if you can do anything to
help them. Even if they do not have
anything in mind, it helps a lot on the
part of a grieving person to know that he
is surrounded by friends that care for his
welfare. Support in whatever form will be
greatly appreciated by the bereaved and
will weigh favorably on their acceptance
of their situation. Death is hard to
accept but can be made easier by the love
extended by people who truly care
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